Catalyst

I have posted a lot of blogs about my differing levels of activity and how difficult it is to get motivated and start something.  I'm not special in this regard.  I think starting something is much more difficult than maintaining something.  This is true for everyone.  What is that theory we learned in school...an object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest...something like that anyway.  I have been an object at rest since last winter.  To get an object at rest to move, there must be some kind of catalyst.  When the object is as large as I have gotten, it better be a pretty strong catalyst!



Wendy demonstrating Catalyst Operation

 The good news is that I seem to have started the ball rolling, so to speak.  I found my catalyst(s).  First, there was the peer pressure (remember the Disney Half Marathon?).  Then there was a need for me to be a catalyst for someone else.  (I have found that the need to be needed is strong in me.)  And finally there was a bit of serendipity...I ended up in a Hot Yoga class on accident.

Hot Yoga?  I had never even really heard of it.  It was mentioned once by someone who was critical of it, but I didn't pay attention because I had no intention of doing it.  What I wanted to do (and still want to do) was Qigong.  I went online searching for a convenient time and place to do a Qigong class, but couldn't find one, so I decided to try a 'regular' yoga class.  I've heard a lot about yoga as a great exercise and also a way to improve mood.  The first place I went to was closed down (that will teach me to call first).  So the next night my friend and I went to another place. 

What we found when we got there surprised us both.  It was a small room lined with mirrors and it was literally 100 degrees.  So we just went with it and tried to do the best we could without passing out from the heat.  The instructor was great; very welcoming and attentive.  But after the class, I thought I would probably never go again.  It was brutal.  Then a funny thing happened.  When I woke up the next morning I felt great.  Better than I have felt in ages.  My blood pressure was way down and my mood was way up.  So I did some research into this Hot Yoga thing. 

What I found out was that it is a series of 26 (or maybe its 29, who can count in that heat) yoga movements done in 90 minutes in 100 to 104 degree heat.  That is it.  It never changes.  It is the exact same every time.  The challenge isn't to learn new moves and choreography.  The challenge is to perfect the moves; to take it a little bit farther than the time before; to use all of the muscles in your body together.  I am hooked. 



Tracking My Progress

 Why do I like it so much?  I'm certainly not good at it.  Most nights I am the only overweight person in the class.  But for that 90 minutes, it is just me against myself.  The rest of the world is gone.  There is no work tension, no grief, no chores waiting to get done.  It is just me and my image in the mirror fighting the heat and working my body into impossible positions.  Nobody talks, there is no banter, the only sounds in the room are the instructor correcting people's positions and breathing.  Not that it is an unfriendly place; quite the opposite, it is a completely non-judgemental environment and before and after the workout people are very supportive and encouraging and courteous.

I mentioned in the Peer Pressure blog that I had signed up for two 5k runs; the first one is in two weeks.  I am alternating yoga with walking.  Hopefully walking will become running at some point, but that isn't really the goal.  I am more interested in increasing my walking speed.  I want to do this half marathon in February, but I want to be able to do it right.  Sure, it is still hard to get up and get going when I would rather sit on the couch and read.  But the more I move the more I want to move.  I have a long way to go; several lifestyle changes that need to happen; several projects that I want to take on. 

But the ball is rolling and it will roll faster with every success.

Freedom

I wonder when the United States went from being a country focused on "Freedom To" to being a country focused on "Freedom From"?

Almost all of the unalienable rights that our forefather's fought for were Freedom's To...freedom to speak, freedom to gather, freedom to carry arms, freedom to practice whatever religion we choose, freedom to pursue happiness.  All of the Freedom's From were focused on the government; to protect the people from an overbearing government.  So why are so many of our laws focused on preventing freedom?  Some are even focused on preventing the pursuit of happiness.  What gives our government the right?



 

Let's look at a couple of examples, just to get the controversy brewing, shall we? 

Prayer.  If I am a Christian (or any other religion), I should have the right to pray.  If I am an atheist, I should have the right to not pray.  Seems pretty straight forward, right?  So why are so many atheists focused on preventing the religious from practicing their religion?  If you don't like my Christmas tree, don't look at it.  If you don't want to spend that moment at the beginning of the school day in prayer, then twiddle your thumbs, but don't take that moment away from my child.  There is even an organization called 'freedom from religion'.  How annoying.  It isn't freedom from, it is freedom to, that is important. 

Now let's pick on the other side.  Gay marriage.  Lots of religions believe that being gay is a sin.  Ok.  That's fine.  If you are gay, I would recommend not joining those churches.  But why should our government get involved in who I fall in love with and marry?  What concern is it of theirs?  And if you don't like it, well, too bad.  Because if I want to marry someone of my same gender, what possible harm is that doing to you?  And if it isn't harming you, why do you care?  What gives you the right to judge? 

For that matter, why is government involved in Marriage at all?  It is just a tax, really.  You pay to have a marriage license and then the government basically says that you have a contract to be married and you must use lawyers and spend a lot of time, money, and anguish to break that contract legally, because it is a meaningless contract.  It doesn't state the terms.  Forever and ever no matter what are not real enforceable terms.  So give marriage back to the churches where it belongs and let the government handle contracts.  Make it civil unions for everyone.  Gay/Straight, whatever...you pay a tax if you want to bond yourself to another person legally and owe them half of your life's worth should you decide it isn't working out (put that way, why would anyone want one?).  Let the churches marry whoever they want to, and let them adjudicate the end of a marriage....that is freedom.  PS...church marriage or civil union, companies should provide the same benefits and rights. 

Just imagine how much money our government would save if we weren't spending so much money enforcing all of those silly laws that restrict our freedoms....marijuana?  Legalize and tax it.  No more spending money chasing down petty criminals just wanting a simple high (didn't we learn anything from Prohibition?).  Prostitution?  Legalize and Tax it.  No more cops wasting their time chasing down sad men who just need a little loving and women just trying to make a living.  Carrying a gun?  No crime is committed if I don't use it, right?  That's how it should be.  Underage drinking?  Like we are ever really going to stop that.  Let the parents handle it.  Quit making criminals out of kids being kids.

How about Pants Sagging?  Cities are passing laws against Pants Sagging.  Seriously?  Do we really need to be spending taxpayer's money chasing down boys who aren't smart enough to pull up their pants?  I thought this was the land of the free!!!  Just imagine how many fewer lawyers we would need if every 'victimless' crime was taken off the books.  If there isn't a victim, why is it a crime?  It shouldn't be.  Not if we are truly to live free.

The Land of the Free????

Peer Pressure



Disney Princesses

 It is interesting that the term Peer Pressure has such a negative connotation.  I mean, nothing about the words themselves is negative, right?  I'm thinking about this because I am currently being pressured by my peers.  I am 46 years old.  Old enough to 'Just Say No' in the words of Nancy Reagan.  But should I?  Just Say No, I mean.  What if my peers are right?  What if it really is ok?  What if it really won't hurt me and might even be fun?  Hmmm. 

What is it they want me to do?  The Disney Princess Half Marathon.  Seriously.  My friends are not athletes (well most of them).  My friends are in various stages of fitness, weight and age.  My friends (mostly) do not work out.  My friends drink a lot of beer.  And for some reason they think this will be fun.  It is six months from now.  They all plan to walk it at a 15 minute mile pace.  Wearing tutus and bunny ears (or something equally ridiculous). 

First 5k

Last fall I ran/walked my first, second and third 5k's.  They were not fun.  It hurt.  I am not a runner.  I am not even a good fast walker.  I tend to get tendinitis in my calves.  My average mile is 20 minutes walking.  My best 5k time was 36 minutes.  I'm busy.  It rains every afternoon.  I missed the early registration rate.  It's expensive.  It starts too early in the morning.  It is in Orlando.  There won't be any place to park.  It would be embarrassing to be 'swept'.  All my friends walk faster than me.  I can come up with thousands of excuses not to do this. 



Evil Friends applying pressure

 But how many times have I blogged about motivation and how hard it is to get off the couch?  When did I start thinking in terms of "I can't vs. I can".  I know I used to think there was nothing I couldn't do (except ski).  Now my mind is filled so often with images of failure instead of images of success.  I wonder why.  Is this a common side effect of grief?  Depression?  I don't know.  But I do know I have been asking for help getting motivated and getting my physical self back to a healthy weight and state along with my emotional self.  What better than peer pressure to motivate me?  Is it wrong to ask for help and then ignore it when it is offered?

If all my friends were triathletes (some of them are) or size 6 super models, then I could excuse myself from this.  But they are not.  They are normal middle aged women wanting to improve themselves.  I am a normal middle aged woman wanting to improve myself.  Coincidence?  I think not.



If you try, haven't you already
Succeeded?

 So, I have not signed up for the half marathon yet.  But I did sign up for 2 5k's next month.  That means procrastination is not an option.  They are not in six months, they are in one month.  I can not run them, at least not yet.  I have an ankle that just won't cooperate with me for running.  But I can walk and work on my speed.   We'll see how these 5k's go and then I will decide.  I know if I don't at least try this, the only person I will be failing is myself.