Happy Birthday Michaela



 In honor of Michaela's birthday, I present you a bunch of random blips and blurbs from her writing:

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my tendency to worry.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my mom.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? not really. I'm just doing it to avoid homework.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? cerulean.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? the flower guy! Thanks mom!

Who thinks that these [standardized] tests mean anything? Who is it who decided that what circles I color in decide my intelligence and how well I will learn or work in an environment of choice?  Not to toot my own horn, but I have an amazing GPA, relatively impressive resume and awesome writing and communication skills. I'm pretty sure that anyone reading this is thinking that those qualities will suffice for the environments I will choose to learn and work in. I'm not going to be a doctor. I'm not going to be an engineer. I'm not going to be an accountant. Never. Ever. The thought of it makes me laugh. Now, who decided that I have to take a test with math in it to be accepted to communication, written and oral founded programs and work places? It makes no sense. I'm speaking specifically about being accepted to Graduate Schools and Assistantships at those schools. ... Standardized tests are, for lack of a better word, stupid. ... It's sad because I would be an asset to any school that accepted me.

After class I came home and made an Extra Cheese Tombstone Pizza. I ate the entire thing and it was delicious. While I was eating I was reading a new book that my mom sent in the mail. So far it is also delicious. I have savored every word. After my pizza I drifted into a nap, that, in its own was also...you guessed it delicious. I woke up at 7:31pm, thinking it was 7:31 a.m. and proceeded to freak out about being late to class. I got a grip and realized it was still today, and consequently went back to sleep.

(on check in for college, year 2) This year there is no rush of excitement in the eyes of the newcomers. It is pouring rain. Has been for several days. It's cramping everyone's style. And they've set it up so that check in is going on for about a week, as opposed to a weekend, like last year. So, when people arrive they are not bombarded by the excitement of others like before. It is, instead, a strange flow, slow and clotting depending on the time of day and the weather.
People are cranky. Kellum is falling to shambles. Not really. She's holding up really well for a 50 year old building (50 this year! It's her birthday!!!). People have puddles; some from the rain, some from their tears. People can't handle life.
It'll all be okay. It's water. But people are nervous and scared and they're expecting mommy and daddy's lifestyle their first year of college, unaware that they won't have that lifestyle again until they're out of college, and beyond that even; until they are settled in their careers. ---This generation has become far too used to instant gratification.

(on leaving Italy) I am not at all ready to leave.
I am prepared.  Mentally.  Physically.  Electronically.
I hope that the happiness I've found here will translate to Tallahassee.
I fear how things will be if it doesn't translate. You know? Being super happy and then not being happy SUCKS! BUT....
Pain reminds us that we're still alive. (some verbal preparation...just in case.)
:-D

(on life lessons learned in Italy) I've finally learned that there is no such thing as a "best" friend. All of your friends are the "best" in some way. One is the best listener. One is the most fun. One is the most interesting. One is the most reliable. Some of them will have more than one best quality, but overall there is nobody with the "best" everything. So, why call anyone a "best" friend. Eventually, they will all let you down in some way, so don't make the let down worse by labeling them with a title they are incapable of keeping honorable.

Some things are just out of my control and I have to learn to go with the flow. Once something is done, you can't undo it, you have to accept it, make the decisions you need to make once something is done, and move on. Eventually, it will all work out. When I was on the way to Spain with Sage, I brought my big bottles of lidocaine aloe and tanning oil hoping that Ryanair wouldn't search my carry on. They did. And they took my stuff away. I was FURIOUS! Even though it was my fault because I risked it. I got so mad and Sage could see it. But since I got here I've been training myself to take control of my reactions and emotions. I sat for a second, pissed, and then just said to myself, "Michaela, get over it." so I did. Sage laughed at me because the decision I made was so obvious on the outside even though I said nothing out loud.


I've become more compassionate here. I feel for people more. I still don't deal with bullshit or whining, but I can understand people's reasons for things now. I've become really close with some people on this trip and they've let me in to many parts of their lives and just to have that is refreshing. Everyone is fighting a battle that nobody else can see. That's the number one thing I've learned here.

I used to have this superiority complex: I'm better than other people because I don't drink or do drugs. Okay, sure, whatever. But really, good people drink too. They are not all losers going nowhere with their lives, they are just people having fun. Eye opener. And, my attitude didn't change to justify my actions. My actions changed in response to my change in attitude. Big difference.

I've learned I am capable of getting along with many different kinds of people. Someone pointed it out to me the other day, and I can't remember who it was, but it made me happy to hear that someone could see a quality in me that I couldn't even see in myself. :-)

I've grown as a person. And I'm excited to see how that changes my life back home. I've learned some patience and compassion. I've learned to let loose. I've learned that people are for the most part---good. I've learned not to put to much stake in people, but not to brush them off either because everyone has something to offer, and you have something to offer them too.


EVERY time I realize this, I breathe easier: No matter how different people are, or seem to be. We're all the same.

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? :: My phone doesn't ring. I don't have one here. But if it did I would WANT it to be my mommy.

14. Use Three words to describe yourself? :: intense, real, old

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun? :: yes. Very well, I might add.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? :: Journal, my art porfolio, camera. I would die in the house trying to choose!

19. How often do you read books? :: almost daily

30. Where was the furthest place you travelled today? :: Well, I'm in Florence, that's far from home. Here, The Study center is about 30 minutes from my apartment, on foot....so the study center is the farthest place I've travelled today...

32. Do you like mustard? :: yes. after years of hating it. I've come to love it.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? :: eat. uh oh.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad? :: My father.

35. How long does it take you in the shower? :: It isn't a matter of how long it takes me, because if we look at it that way it doesn't take long at all....HOWEVER...I never take showers that fast because showering is the love of my life....and in Italy you never run out of hot water. And that's no joke, it's phenomenal!

36. Can you do a split? :: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? :: no. But i think at this point it would make it easier.

67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? :: Photographer

68. Are you easy to get along with? :: I used to think so, and now I think not so much. I kinda like it that way.

69. What is your favorite time of day? :: Any time I'm free to do whatever I want

I love really hard. Because, if you're going to love someone how can you not love hard? How can you not give them everything they want? How can you not do your best to fulfill every need? How can you not tell them you love them every day? How can you not see them every chance possible? How can you not talk to them every day? How can you not think about them every minute? How can you not want to show them how you feel all the time? How? How can you not love hard?

I've been mulling over things in my head and I've come to a few conclusions about life in general.

1. It’s always the right time for the right person.  And it’s never the right time for the wrong person. So everything always depends on the person and never really on the time. People just tend to confuse the two, or use the latter so they don't have to tell someone that they're not it. (Logical right?)

2. No matter how exciting something is, it will never be as exciting if you're doing it alone. It's always better to share things with someone else. A friend, a lover, a random person. (shitty and awesome at the same time)

3. Sometimes there are no second chances, and sometimes there are 17. And generally, the times you don't get a second chance...the person was actually worth something. And you know this because they made a choice and stuck to it. (who wants a wishy washy loser?)

4. While being politically incorrect will offend many, being that way will guarantee you make the right friends for you. Because who wants to fake a personality to make friends? (I say this from experience, I faked it before and my friends were lame....NOT ANYMORE!)

5. Life doesn't stop for anyone. It doesn't slow down either. So get up and run alongside.