Walk the Walk

I had a very unusual encounter the other night.  We were staying at a hotel in Tampa the night before the Steeler game (Go Steelers).  Brandon and Bill were going to sleep, but I needed to make a phone call, so I decided to go out to the car to make the call.  We had returned to the room about 20 minutes earlier and it was pretty late, maybe 11pm.  When we pulled up to the hotel, there were several police cars parked out front, but we parked in the back and went to the room, so I didn't give it another thought. 

As I walked to the car to make my phone call, I heard someone talking in a loud voice and naturally turned to look.  There were two young men, one Black, one Hispanic, talking very animatedly near the hotel (across the parking lot from where I was).  When I turned to look at them, they spotted me and called out to me to come to them.  Probably 100 thoughts went through my mind at that instant.  I raised my children to abhor racism and bigotry.  I also raised them not to put themselves in unnecessary danger.  A woman, alone, 11pm, dark area behind a hotel, two young men obviously wound up about something.  But something told me this was perhaps a chance to make a difference to someone, so I moved towards them.  I'm not completely without caution, so I walked halfway to where they were and stopped in the middle of the parking lot in the brightest spot under the lights.  That was good enough for them.  Probably that I stopped and responded at all would have been good enough.  They joined me in the middle.

They were very young.  They claimed to be 21, but they looked like babies to me.  They were upset because their friend was getting arrested in front of the hotel.  Apparently they had been having a birthday party in one of the rooms, probably warming up to go out to the clubs.  They said everyone was 21.  They said there were no drugs involved.  They said they weren't being very loud, but that they were right next to the desk.  They said they were warned once, then the police came.  This is their story.  I'm not disputing it.  They seemed more sober than not.  I saw no signs of drug use.  I know how voices carry in a hotel. 

I said what is he being arrested for?   They didn't know.  I asked if he mouthed off to the 'cop' when he got there.  They said yes, he did.  They tried to justify it.  I said no.  I said that 'cop' is doing his job and at that moment he has all the power, there is no point in provoking him, you will lose.  The young black man said, I think it is a race thing.  I said you may be right.  Or you may be wrong.  Perhaps it is just a noise thing and a bunch of young people crowded into a hotel room making the management nervous.  I'm not saying, because I wasn't there.  There are things that are race things and things that are not and you should be choosy about when you call it that or people won't take you seriously.

It got a little strange here because apparently the Hispanic gentleman didn't believe it was a race thing, because he didn't believe he looked Hispanic...um, ok?  He says to me...what are you?  Both the Black young man and I replied that obviously I am White.  Then he says, what are we?  I said, he is Black and you are Hispanic.  Then he wanted to me explain to him how I knew he was Hispanic (Puerto Rican as it turned out) because his skin was much paler than mine.  I told him it was his facial features.  I honestly think he had never thought about this before...that other people see him and classify him, perhaps even stereotype him, by his features.

So here we are in a hotel parking lot, a tall skinny Black man, a skinny (shiny white) Puerto Rican man, and a middle aged (brown) White woman....I knew I was safe.  I never felt a moment of fear.  I knew I was just talking to a couple of young men trying to make sense out of their world.  I also knew I didn't have long to make an impression, the Black man was checking his phone and looking for the rest of their group.  But the Hispanic man seemed to want something from me.  I could feel it and I could see it.  I think he wanted me to tell him that the world was fair and just and everything would be just fine.  I can't lie like that. 

What I told them was to be careful.  To watch themselves and stay clear of trouble.  Why?  He asked.  I said because you are young (and here I paused, took a breath for effect...and was interrupted by the Black man who said 'and not white'), and I said, yes.  And not white.  I said I couldn't give a hot damn what color you are, but not everyone is like me.  I said you need to stay straight and clean and get to the top, because change comes from the top, not the bottom.  I said there are more people like me in the world than not these days and you can't let the minority, the haters, control you.  But even the people like me can't change the world for you, you have to do it yourselves.  The world has come a long way, but it has a long way to go. So be strong and be real, get to the top and change the world.

I'm sure there was more said.  I'm sure I haven't quoted it all out word for word.  The encounter lasted maybe 10 or 15 minutes.  It was time for them to go.  With a 'you know what?  You're alright Mama.' They took off to find their friends.  It was obvious to me that the young Black man was already bitter, whether through his own experiences or the values of those who raised him, I'll never know.  Such a terrible shame at his young age, he was smart, he was well spoken, he could have the American dream if he doesn't let his own bitterness trip him up.  The Hispanic man though, he still has hope.  Had I turned from them when they called out to me...got in my car or walked the other way...would that have put a tiny chip on that young man's shoulder?  A tiny chip to be built upon through a thousand more small slights?  Did my stopping to talk to them put a bit of Spackle in the foundations of the young Black man's hope? 

Maybe neither.  Maybe the encounter was only for my benefit.  To remind me that you have to live the way you want the world to be before the world can ever become that way.