Empirical Evidence

Warning.  This blog contains opinions.  They are mine and mine alone.  If you don't like them, or they don't at least give you something to think about, don't read my blog :). 


Dave and his Saturn



My son drives a Saturn.  My son got occasional spankings when he was growing up.  What do these things have in common?  Well, for starters, they were both things that I had conversations with my son about in the past few weeks.  The second commonality is that both involve research and experts and the tendency of modern day experts to make claims when all of the evidence isn't in yet.  How so?  Well, let me tell you. 

When I was working on my Master's degree, I took a lot of Organizational development and Management Theory classes.  In these classes, Saturn was often used as an example of why a certain management style was 'better' than the old 'I'm the manager and you are the worker' style.  It was all about teams and how teams could make better decisions than individuals and save money and be more efficient and so forth.  That was the paradigm Saturn was based around.  In case you weren't aware, Saturn has gone out of business.  Saturn started in 1985 and was out of business by 2009.  But in the 1990's it was the star example of how to run a business the 'right' way.  For comparison, Ford Motor Company was founded in 1903, last I checked they were still in business.

Now, on to spanking my son.  Before everyone gets all upset, let me clarify that I am talking about disciplining, not beating, a child.  I am also talking about the exceptional occasion, not the first response to every situation.  Most children of my generation and previous generations got the occasional 'whipping' and guess what?  Most of us are not serial killers or spouse abusers.  In fact, we are generations of Americans who have modernized the entire industrial world, gone to space, and invented medical miracles that baffle the imagination.  Most of us were optimistic as young people that the world was a good place and would only get better (which it has regardless of what the media may make you think).

But somewhere along the line, about the time my kids were being kids, psychologists and sociologists and other such experts decided that spanking was bad.  Corporal punishment in any form, for any reason was bad.  Having winners and losers in games was bad.  Time outs were good :). Apparently drugging kids into a stupor is good too.   I have to question, now that I am seeing the results of the 'new' style of child rearing, what type of evidence these 'experts' could have had.  After all, very few children had been raised in that style, and I would have to guess that the children who were 'never spanked' back in those days, were probably the kind that didn't need it, they were compliant.  So what long term evidence could they have based this research on, really? 

What I see now is a generation of young adults who often feel entitled to a free ride.  Who don't understand that actions have consequences and that in life there are winners and losers...not everyone gets a trophy.  Kids who are shocked by the reality of a workplace where you actually have to follow the rules or, believe it or not, they will fire you!  Who think that cheating in school is ok, because they didn't get caught and after all the information was right there on the Internet.  Who talk to their parents like they are their junior high friends and have no concept of respect.  Who are pessimistic about the future of our country and our world and even critical of their own generation. 

Certainly not all of them, there are some amazing young people today, just as there have been in every generation (and the older generation is always grumbling about them).  But back in the day when parents were parents and children were children and the parent was the boss, and 'wait until your father gets home' was a common phrase, there was less childhood depression, obesity, suicide, cutting and attention disorders (critics would say it was just as frequent, but we didn't recognize it then.  To the critics I say BS, or better yet, prove it).  Moreover, teachers weren't afraid to go into their classrooms.  Teachers, too, were allowed to be the boss over the children, it wasn't a democracy!

In my humble opinion a child is not able to understand natural consequences or long term effects of their decisions.  Sometimes the natural consequence is simply too severe.  For example, do you let the child stick their hand in boiling water to learn that it is a bad idea?  Similarly a teenager may not understand the consequences of things they post on the Internet, or shoplifting, or drinking and driving, but they certainly understand the consequence of you taking that car or that computer or that allowance away.  In other words, the best way to learn self-discipline, that little thing that all adults should have to be successful, is by receiving external discipline first.  It is better to get that discipline from a parent as a child than to learn the hard way as an adult from the employer or, worse, the police.

Parenting styles should be based on the parent and the child.  And every situation is different.  My daughter seldom needed any type of discipline at all.  Just a stern word or a disapproving look broke her heart.  My son on the other hand....well, to say my son had behavioral issues as a pre-schooler is like saying Ted Bundy had an eating disorder.  And so the parenting style had to be different, even within my own family.  Discipline is critical and spanking can be a tool of discipline along with many other tools.  It is all about using the right tool for the right problem.  I suspect someday when ALL of the research is in, the experts may agree.

Those two examples aside...how many other things do we believe simply because someone with the title of expert did a study.  Do we ever question the study?  Some examples...we are eating cloned meat because the FDA says it is safe.  How do they know?  It hasn't been around long enough to have done a real study.  In fact, we are the study.  Same with genetically altered foods.  How many things are we told to eat or not eat for health benefits?  Have you ever checked the source of the study?  Eating chocolate is healthy, found in a study sponsored by Hershey's (true statement).  Florida is likely to be hit by hundreds of hurricanes in the next 10 years, more than ever before, determined in a study sponsored by the insurance industry.  Just a couple of examples....so I ask you people, please, think for yourself!  Do your own research before you jump on a bandwagon.  Experts can be wrong too.

Oh, and that conversation I had with my son about the spankings?  He was thanking me for caring enough about him to make sure he grew up 'right'.