Karma

Last week a man died a violent death.  The man lived a violent life.  My only connection with this man is that he had previously owned my dog.  In fact she was confiscated from him after he beat her nearly to death.  He was considered mentally challenged, but he also had a history of drug use and domestic violence.  It is no surprise that he died a violent death.  That is the environment he lived in.



Resi

 The article in the paper that reported his death slanted the story in such a way that it appeared as though a nice young, mildly retarded man was killed in a violent, unprovoked manner.  I posted a link to the story and simply stated that the man had be the same person who had beaten my dog.  It was posted merely as an interesting connection to my friends who know about my dog's history and her current problems.

One of my friends responded with the word 'karma' and what a flurry storm that set off.  Some agreed, some violently disagreed.  Some felt that the word 'karma' means a literal one to one correlation of a bad act to a bad result (i.e. he beat the dog so he deserved to die).  I think others felt the 'what comes around goes around' definition was being referred to.  Perhaps it was.  In some cases certainly some of my more passionate animal loving friends feel that beating an animal should result in death.  In any case, people responded emphatically and not altogether politely.



Budda

 It got me thinking about karma as a concept and why I don't believe in it, but it also got me to pick up a book (or the Internet) and do a little bit of reading about the concept.  Unfortunately, or fortunately as the case may be, there is a lot of information about the concept and it doesn't all agree.  It was first described in ancient India and has been adapted by various philosophies (to include Christianity) over thousands of years.  My purpose isn't to teach you philosophy or religion, so I'm not going to go into all of the permutations of the idea.

In general, karma is the concept of  'action' understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect originating in ancient India and practiced/discussed in Indian religions and philosophies. 



Heaven

 In general, Karma is not punishment or retribution but simply an extended expression or consequence of natural acts. Karma means 'action' and more broadly names the universal principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, that governs all life. The effects experienced are also able to be changed by future actions so are not necessarily fated. A particular action now is not binding to some particular, pre-determined future  reaction; it is not a simple, one-to-one correlation of reward or punishment.

In some religions/philosophies, the concept can span several lifetimes of reincarnation, in some it is in this life alone, in Christianity it is equated to the reward or punishment one is to receive in Heaven (or Hell). 



Too good at being good?

 So when I say I don't believe in Karma, it isn't exactly true.  I don't believe Karma causes good things to happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people, in direct correlation, at least not in one lifetime on earth.  Because in my experience the people who are the very best at being bad (think Drug Lords) live a highly rewarded, lucrative life on earth and the people who are the very best at being good (think Mother Theresa) are very unlikely to be rewarded for it on earth (and if they were, wouldn't they give the reward away?). 

The people who are bad, but not good at it, they are the ones who get caught...they are the ones people say 'karma' about.  Like this guy; he wasn't good at being bad.  He got caught both by law enforcement and by his own kind.  He was a pawn of someone else in the drug world, that is what got him killed.  And the rest of us, those of us who are good, but fallible...well, we are treated to a life of mixed pain and blessings. 

Karma as originally intended would have good effects as well as bad effects, but we (western society) don't see someone become successful and then say it was Karma.  We attribute it to hard work, talent, or luck.  Karma shouldn't be a 'bitch'.  Karma is simply cause and effect applied to lives (or after-lives).


Karma?



Life after Life

A few months after Michaela died, I got a letter, through the Translife agency, from a woman who had recieved one of Michaela's organs.  She simply wrote to say that she was doing well and that she was grateful.  She also asked for a picture of Michaela.

What a wonderful gift she gave me.  Confirmation that at least one person is still alive today who may not have been.  A mother who would have left behind a family. 

I sent her a picture and gave permission to the agency to share my personal address so that communication wouldn't have to go through the agency any longer.  She thanked me and told me that she had the picture printed on a pin so she could wear it everywhere she went and tell her story.  Another beautiful gift.

She also sent me a beautiful tapestry that she made while she was first dying and then recovering.  It is an amazing piece, so detailed and beautiful.  It told me very much about the woman herself and the care she takes with life and beauty. 

The other day she asked me if there were others like her who contacted me.  She used the term 'life after life'.   I love that. 

No, there haven't been any others.  I can certainly understand that.  How very difficult to come up with the words to say to someone when you are alive because someone they love is not.  But I think if you look at it the way she looks at it...as life after life....rather than life after death....it gives it a whole different perspective.  It is a positive thing.  Michaela isn't defined by her death; she is defined by the life she lived.

I would ask organ recipients to think about this.  Nothing is harmed by letting the family who gave you this gift know that you are doing well.  That good came from tragedy.  You don't have to give any personal information at all...just a note that says, 'Hey, I'm doing fine. Thank you.' is a gift bigger than you can imagine.  The gift of knowing, for sure, there is Life after Life.

Words are Everything

It is hard to know what to say when someone dies.  It is particularly hard to know what to say to someone whose child died.  In the beginning, certain things are appropriate to say...the I'm sorry's, and so forth.  I blogged a long time ago about things that newly bereaved parents want to hear and don't want to hear.  But now two years have passed and of course, things have changed.  I am no longer newly bereaved.  The time for I'm sorry's and pity has passed.  I'm sure now it is even harder for people who don't see me every day to know what to say to me; so most say nothing at all. 

I guess nothing at all is ok.  There are worse things.  But if everyone said nothing at all, my world would be much darker.  I remember Michaela and I remember that she died.  You aren't going to remind me or revive my grief by speaking her name.  Just the opposite, by speaking of her, you lift my heart by telling me that she is not forgotten. 

Now, around the anniversary of her death, I have been blessed with many messages and new posts on her FB walls.  I read each and every one of them.  Sometimes over and over.  Although, I wish sadness on no one, I am comforted by knowing I am not alone in my grief, that she was a person worth remembering and missing, and that so many people do remember her kindly and with love.

Michaela was 21 years old when she died.  She had spent 3 years away at college and a summer in Italy.  She had a whole life of her own that I was not a daily part of.  So, while I love all of the messages and comments and posts, my favorites are still the ones that start like this:  You don't know me, but....

I love these messages because they tell me something about Michaela that I didn't already know.  Sometimes it is a memory, sometimes it is a story of how she changed a life, sometimes it is simply reaching out to say, hey I miss her too.  No matter what the message is, it is gratefully received. 

If you are ever just thinking of someone who died, don't hesitate to reach out with a message to their loved ones.  I promise you they will appreciate every word.